Free coffee and lessons in people skills

The other morning I was running a little behind on getting ready for work, I am guilty of taking time to redo the hair, so I didn’t have time to make my usual breakfast. As I was leaving I had to decide between these evils:

Kristen when she's hungry and crazy busy at work vs unhealthy, probably fake, processed breakfast

I went with the Mickey D’s, the obvious choice of course, and went through the drive-thru. Immagine my surprise when I pulled up to the window and the cashier says “how about a free coffee with that?”. Now you may think to yourself “the cashier was probably just hitting on her”. Maybe. But the thing is, I get free coffee all the time. I started working nights at the hospital over a year ago and would stop in at a Starbucks before work. One day the barista gave me free coffee, and it was probably just because he wanted me to go out with him (as he asked me out the next week… sorry fella I only am interested in people who love jesus). But then the other baristas started giving me my coffee for free, until there were four of them that would make my drink and say don’t worry about it (girls included).

At that point I began to wonder…

Was it my wonderfully cute nursing scrubs or what I had learned from Mister Carnegie?

I think I owe my many free coffees to Mister Dale Carnegie. During that horrible, no good, awkward time we all suffer through called junior high, I felt like I couldn’t make friends. I discovered this wonderful book that sparked a flame of interest in me to study the way people worked, what body language meant, how to be a good conversationalist, and be a better friend.

Here are 5 things I learned from Dale Carnegie (that I find valuable on a routine basis).

1. People are interested in themselves. An example I remember from the book is that a person’s painful hang nail is a bigger and more important deal to them than starving children, world crisis, etc.
2.  That basic truth being understood, take an interest in others. Ask questions about them, find out what they are passionate about and ask about it.
3.  You can win more flies with honey than vinegar.
4. No one wants to be proved wrong or corrected. If what they say wont hurt them or anyone else, save them the embarrassment. Who cares if Jefferson was the 3rd president and not the 4th?
5. Smile 🙂 “The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back” (Carnegie, p.66).

What I didn’t tell you before is that the baristas became almost friends to me and that I looked forward to seeing a few times a week. There was Mike who liked to party every weekend and tell me about his adventures. Audrey was an aspiring comedian who dreams of moving to california. Adam spent the summer in france studying abroad and had the coolest adventures there. Johnny was going to school for business and hopes to start his own when he is done. The last guy is the picture of why taking an interest in others is so important. He would always charge me for my drink until one day he asked me how I was doing and I returned the question and actually took the time to listen. He said he had a busy day at school and I asked him what he was studying and a few questions about his classes and then that day he charged me for a grande refill. Any subsequent time he was there he only charged me the 55 cents and would tell the new baristas to do the same.

Dale Carnegie was right. Maybe taking a few minutes to be genuinely interested in others may be in your best interests too. In my case I gained a few new friends and saved some major $ at Starbucks.